Got a holiday hangover?

It’s Monday morning here and the Thanksgiving holiday is now behind us. To be honest I feel a bit of hangover from it all. But it’s the good kind. As one gets older holiday stretches with the family take on a sort of different feel. For a second they’re all here and it’s noisy and a bit crazy. Then they’re gone again.

The hangover I’m feeling is the kind that hits once everyone goes home. It leaves me a little misty-eyed. If there’s one thing that begins to hit you with time it’s the realization things are changing. The kids now aren’t kids. They’re adults—full grown people with their own lives.

So time with them is more limited than ever—and valuable. That’s the way it is, and it’s actually not a bad thing. Life changes and looks different through the years. That’s just how it is. 

Having worked for years with those who are incarcerated and can’t be with family or friends, I know it can be the loneliest time of the year. You may have lost love ones already and miss them greatly. It’s hard.

But undoubtedly, one of the hardest of things is knowing your own actions have burned bridges and caused you to ruin relationships. When your own choices and behavior are the reason you’re alone it’s especially hard to take. 

Regret can be tough to live with.

Here’s the thing, though. Your regret can be the unwelcome invitation that leads to change. When the shoes you’re walking in are causing blisters you change them. Continuing to do what hurts doesn’t make sense—yet many of us do just that.

The holiday season may cause you pain and not seem like a great time to get control of your drinking. But it also could be just the time to make a move on it. 

You may regret some things you can’t fix. I mean, you can’t change the past. You can, however, change your future. All the things in your past may have a lot to do with who you have been up ’til now. But they don’t have to dictate who you’ll be moving forward.

I don’t yet know much about who you have been, but I have a good idea of who you want to be. How you live from here on can say much more than all the words and promises you have ever made. It’s what can enable you to leave all your regret where it should be—behind you. It’s what can make all the difference in how your coming Christmas plays out.

It’s far more doable than you may have thought possible up until now. But I can tell you it’s worth doing. You’ve lived long enough with the pain of disappointing those you love. But I know this: the people you love are worth the effort. You are worth it.

Here’s to hangovers worth having!

Tim