What shall we gain from the year past?

This is an interesting time of year. It’s that moment when you realize another whole year has just passed. Another one. Dang.

Actually, every single day brings the close of another year, but we seldom stop and think back over the year like we do now. It’s something we ought to do. I’m sure you had your share of tough stretches last year, but you also had at least a few good things happen, right?

The good ones (the wins) deserve reliving. If you don’t, then the unpleasant things (the losses) overshadow them. But that requires intentionality or else you can feel pretty negative about the whole year (or season).

Yes, I’m making a sports analogy, but bear with me please. 

My year included both good and bad, probably as did yours. Our daughter had a grand wedding celebration. It was an amazing time. Thinking back on that week brings joyful, fun thoughts I’m grateful for.

But that beautiful event occurred in the midst of a really unpleasant stretch. It was a year’s worth of difficulty unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

It’s not that I haven’t been through some rough patches. I have. Things I wouldn’t wish on anybody. But I need to remember those times.

I’ve done plenty of stupid stuff that caused my own grief. Actions or decisions that made life for me or those who loved me, a lot harder.

Sometimes difficult stuff comes at the hands of others. We can gain even from these experiences. 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my lifetime of coaching—sports and otherwise—it’s that we seldom learn much when things are going well. I never had my guys’ attention like I did after losing, especially after a loss to someone or something that shouldn’t have surprised them. Upsets get our attention like nothing else.

That’s when we’re acutely aware we’re not as far along as we thought. Sometimes we’re simply reminded not everything is within our control. 

But our response is. That much we can control.

As I’ve told my teams (and myself) many times, “You’re not going to win them all, but we can get better along the way”. Losses can actually become wins if we frame them correctly.

Yes, losses offer opportunities for learning, given how we view them. That often determines how we respond to them. But here’s another factor to consider: your mindset going into, during and coming out of setbacks is huge.

How aware are you that your teammates are only human, just like you? Have there been times you didn’t show up or be all you could have? You too, have been a disappointment more than once. We’re all still in process.

If I had been in the grip of alcohol during the last year, it wouldn’t have been pretty. But man, it would have been much worse. 

All the pain and loneliness of a rough stretch would still be there. And it would have been made worse along the way. That’s what alcohol does. It gives whining and complaining and griping a foothold that makes you sick. And the loss would have wrecked my season—no, probably more. The next one too.

So as the year ends and we look back, my question is, “What shall we gain from the year past?” Hopefully much.

Tim  

PS—If alcohol has taken your ability to respond well and has caused you more than enough loss this year, I get it. Next year can be different.

Call me. We’ll figure out a way forward that’s doable, one day at a time. 

One idea is to start by celebrating a Dry January, then go from there. Either way, my guarantee is progress and a better year to come. Feel free to share.