Is control the goal?

Sometimes I really struggle with that question. I often wonder why I ever put that on my website. Control is the goal. It’s right there on the homepage. 

We all want to be in control, right? I mean, being out of control has serious consequences. Whether it’s drinking, pills, or credit cards, not good. As for my site, I’m talking about getting to the place you’re in control of alcohol, not the other way around.

It’s a bad feeling to recognize you’re thinking about your evening booze early in the afternoon. It’s also bad to realize that way too often you end up having a few too many. 

That’s anything but being in control. And that’s what I’m here for. That’s why I put that on my site.

Truth is, though, a lot of things are outside our control. Life happens. It starts early on. A parent leaves, or worse, dies. Or maybe you were on the receiving end of an abusive relationship. And there was nothing you could do about it but survive.

But you did survive. And now you would rather just forget about it. But the thing is, it doesn’t just go away—it continues to affect you, maybe in ways you’re not aware of. There are a number of things we do to deal with our issues on our own. 

The fact is very few, if any, of the things we do to medicate, ignore, or escape our issues ever work. Like drinking alcohol. And things just get worse.

Maybe it’s way past time to get help with that. Make a move on it. I was going to say right there, “before it’s too late”. But it’s never too late to get started working on what you need to work on. Never.

Drinking too much or becoming dependent on pills is never simply a choice. So many people think it is—those who have not yet become dependent on something that’s wrecking their lives, anyway. 

There’s always a reason. Getting to the bottom of that reason is paramount. Figuring out why you continue even though you want to stop is no less paramount. 

That, BTW, is why you get help. You’re continuing to do what you know is bad for you and your loved one(s). Believe me, the problem is solvable. But you have to make a move.

And if you’ve already made that move, I’m super proud of you. But here’s something to consider. The support coaching provides is often essential to overcoming a dependence.

But many of us found that mental health struggles were deeply tied to our relationship with alcohol. Maybe you’ve been there, too—drinking to cope with depression, only to find that it worsened the very thing you were trying to escape. It’s a vicious, tiring cycle. And the load only gets heavier.

This week is Mental Health Illness Awareness Week, and it’s a perfect time to pause and reflect. Perhaps you need more than the help coaching will provide. Something only a health professional can give. 

For me, getting that help was a life-changing decision. It helped me to process things I didn’t even know were there. Things that were affecting me negatively.

And yes, I resisted it, put it off and denied I needed it. I felt it was like admitting I was a failure. But I was wrong. Being open to that help changed my life. I believe it will for you as well.

Here’s to the help we need.

Tim